a nothing, a nobody

Something I learned growing up. The parent that claims their child ‘will do anything for attention’ and ‘makes mountains out of molehills’ is not always, but very often, a parent who is minimalizing their child constantly, whether intentionally or unintentionally. As soon as you hear that, step back and take a good look at the child. do they act like someone who knows they are on stage, a drama queen? Do they act like they want to be heard, be loved? Watch the child with the parent. Does the parent take time to listen to the child and acknowledge the child’s feelings? Does the parent seem to brush aside how the child feels, either with a ‘don’t bother us’ attitude or a ‘you’re just a child, what do you know’ attitude?

If you looked at this honestly and openly, and saw that the parent was not really listening to the child but was excusing how their child was behaving while they avoided helping that child with what concerned him or her, then you have found a parent who is teaching the child not to believe in him or herself. This is a part of the abuse cycle. This is a part of what we have to change to improve our world. People say they do what they do for their children’s sakes. How is it for that child’s sake that you teach them to believe they are a nothing, a nobody?

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